Dealing With Narcissistic(?) Parents

It wasn't until recently that someone called my parents narcissistic. Well, it wasn't until recently that I heard anyone speak freely about my parents' behavior at all. I have never thought of them as narcissistic. I mean, yes, they seem to value success above their children. And maybe they are a bit emotionally neglectful. But they are my parents. I love them more than anything. And because I love them, I chose to see the best in them. I always will. They did the best they could with what they were given. My parents were not the ones to break their generational curses. But while I feel this way, things have changed. I am an adult now, whether they like it or not (whether I like it or not). I am meant to grow into my own. I am meant to make mistakes and accomplish my goals. Most importantly, I am meant to do it on my own. But instead, I am suffocated by their fears and insecurities. They are so scared. I will fail on my own. They view me as the floundering eighteen-year-old. They can't let me go until they deem me ready - until I prove myself to them. That means doing things their way. If I don't do exactly what they want and at their pace, I'm failing. So they try everything they can to control me - to keep me from leaving before they feel I'm ready. What they don't understand or refuse to understand is not only hindering my growth but also driving me away. And they have me at my wits' end. I have been so angry at them after realizing I'm not actually crazy and unreasonable for the way I feel. I have resented them. But as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I love them too much to keep resenting them. They do not deserve that, and nor do I. For better or for worse, they are my parents, my family. I understand their fears. I understand their insecurities. But I need them to put all of that aside and let me go. Now to figure out how to express that to them...